&&LG FUAD;; « Thread Started on Nov 29, 2007, 1:38am »
And when you swallow, I hope you taste what you have become.
Oh, could she taste it. She could just stand on the edge of her big wooden stage and hold her arms out forever, just so she could taste the sweetness of their loving applause. And when she shut her green eyes, she could see it too. The house was full, and millions of people were dressed up in black and white Victorian style outfits, throwing roses upon her feet. Her mother was in the front row, looking as lively as ever. Her father stood at her side, no assistant, no cell phone in site. He was here for her. And finally, Zack was there, crying because his sister had finally done it. After nineteen years of working her finger to the bone, of skipping shopping days, dates, marriage, she had finally become the world’s greatest artistic vision. As she smiled down upon them all, they all quickly faded, and only one remained. He was standing in the center of all the rows, just staring at her with a smirk upon his face. “You’re a star honey, a big star.” Aaron’s voice rang in her ears like hellfire, and she quickly opened her eyes and took a step back from the edge.
No one was with her. No flowers dangled at her feet. No ex lovers in view. And worst of all, there was no innocent in this room. There never had been. The air no longer held the warm glow she could see when she closed her eyes, there was only a small cloud of dust and a spotlight at center stage. That’s where she was going to stand in a few minutes, center stage. In front of no one, and just for warm up she was going to do a monologue of her own liking, and she had to stand in one spot and not move at all. A very small spot, where really there was no way out. Just in. Kind of like the black hole she created long ago for herself. This is the defining moment of whether she really will stay like this forever. The bar hoping, drunk, overly flirty, something whorish, and always silly child. A suicidal scene that is waiting to happen. This was just Stella’s persona that she threw back at the whole world, because being a social outcast never seemed to fit her beauty well. Those two years of being a loser in New York just were over-rode by the fabulous high school existence she had. She felt a little odd, still thinking of herself as the diva that once put fear in some girl’s shoes and heat in men’s pants. But it was truer now then it had ever been, because now, well, now she doesn’t have to worry about making it to classes. Just coming to her work everyday, and living her life.
Finally, her feet took her to the spotlight, and she stood overly still when the rays hit her. This one seemed to be burning more then normal. “Can you dim it Moe?” She called out, but he seemed not to hear. She sighed, wondering why on earth they have a semi-deaf sound guy. It was irony at it’s highest. Letting air come out of her mouth once again, she straightened her stance, and locked her eyes upon the blackness.
“A couple hundred years ago Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that 'til tomorrow, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity; you'd think we'd pay more attention to what he had to say.” She moved her hands wildly as she spoke, lighting her face up just so, she seemed like a actor on TV, knowing everything that is going to happen for it did. Truth was, Stella was just winging it like she always did. Through her work and her life. Both got harder every time she woke herself up in the morning. She continued.
“I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of pain, fear of rejection.” Beat. “Sometimes the fear if just of making a decision. Because... What if you're wrong? What if you make a mistake you can't undo? Whatever it is we're afraid of, one thing holds true: That by the time the pain of not doing the thing gets worse than the fear of doing it, it can feel like we're carrying around a giant tumor. And you thought I was speaking metaphorically... 'The early bird catches the worm. 'A stitch in time saves nine.' 'He who hesitates is lost.' We can't pretend we haven't been told.” Overly fake laugh. “We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, and heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time; heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still, sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow’s rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin meant. That knowing is better than wondering. That waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst most intractable mistake, beats the hell out of not trying.”
That was it. That was all Stella would utter under that one spotlight, for soon afterwards it dimmed, and the houselights came up upon her. She was still alone in a room. All alone on the stage. Just ever so alone in this world and the next. “I swear I should have been a dancer.” She muttered, letting the paper of other things she had to do fall to the floor. As she stomped towards the edge of the stage to sit, her overly loud black high heels clicked on the floor as her http://www.betseyjohnson.com/Delicate_Lace_and_Pintucks_Dress/pd/c/1101/np/1101/p/3025.html[/url]] Bestey Johnson dress didn’t move an inch. Slowly the girl sat down, and then she did the world’s oddest thing. She started to dig into her breast, as If searching for gold. Finally, she pulls out two things, a hot pink rhinestone sidekick and a hello kitty ipod. Yes, Stella did have a hello kitty ipod, and it bothered her not. Hello Kitty was still the utmost highest of couture. Stella put the ipod on full blast, and stuck one of the hot pink ear phones into her ear, and flipped open her sidekick. She had seven missed calls, thirteen text messages, and eighteen IM’s. Rolling her eyes, she replied to about two people from her text, and then threw it back down again. None of those people really cared about her, just what came with. “Whatever.” Her overly clear-glossed lips formed a slight frown, and then she closed her eyes once again. They were dusted with a cream base, and on the sides she had a half black overcoat. It was stunning how a train wreck could make itself look so good. With a loud thud, Stella slammed her head back on the wooden planks, and just lay there until she was needed. But that was the problem, she was never really needed. And as her legs hung over the edge of the stage, her hands rested loosed upon her chest, phone interlocked between them, her curly blond hair going all over the place, and the hello kitty ipod next to her head, the poor girl looked dead. And for the first time in a long time, she looked happy.
Joined: Dec 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 26 Location: Fredrikstad, Norway Karma: 1
Re: &&LG FUAD;; « Reply #1 on Dec 30, 2007, 4:55pm »
A figure, no taller then five foot two inches tall had made it's way into the room. It was a little hard to tell if this figure was male or female, at first. It walked gracefully toward the stage. This person, took a delicate intrest in the wood of the stage, this was told by the way the figure touched it’s edge. In the dimmed lighting of the stage this person was difficultly proclaimed male. His hazel eyes then focused upon the girl. Cheshire sensed no harm if her so he pulled himself up onto the stage and he too sat on the edge, but he sat for a breif second, his torso leaned back touching the wooden stage. Those delicate hazel eyes of his dancing in the dimmed light as a smile came across his face. Bulky headphones rested upon his ears as nerve racking sound of screaming band members seeped from them and into the air surrounding.
A stage is what he desired, but not quiet like this one, one to play guitar on, and not have to worry about neighbors yelling at him and such. He closed his eyes to take in the surrounding better. This was a place for actors and actresses, not a place for Cheshire. Either way he ignored such a fact and rifled through the front chest pocket of his dress. He smiled as he found them, two black and bronze batteries. He brought out his CD player, from well, who knows where and replaced the batteries and continued to listen to Trophy Scars.
His voice became one with the melodies as his words matched the lyrics. “It’s cold outside, just like fate, It’s cold right here, where is your heart some one get me out ofe here. Alive.” His voice was almost feminine just like his features. “Take My hand. Trust my smile, it’s just one smile, I’m getting in softer parts of you, It’s killing me too, it’s killing me too.” He made sure his voice wasn’t too loud as not to disturb the girl on the other side of the stage. “It’s cold outside, just like steel. It’s cold right here, just like blades. Some one get me out of here, Alive.” These lyrics wouldn’t have made much sense to an onlooker or passerby, unless of course they knew who Trophy Scars were. He quickly glanced over at Stella and then back to the ceiling. “Take my eyes, and cauterize my heart. Because it’s killing nothing, it’s killing nothing. I’m getting caught in the same soft parts of you.” By now the boy had stretched out across the stage, though his legs still hung off the side from the knee down. His legs swung back and forth gently. “Watered down and feel the cool, Winter creep up your spine. These are mine, these are mine and these are mine, this mouth bleeds. Trust this, this one smile. I walked the halls one thousand years, one thousand too long. Isn’t nothing the same. All of us in watered down, Dumbfounded mercury.” His voice, drowned in innocence “I’ll trust this tourniquet again, I’ll trust this tourniquet uh huh. I walk the halls of a sleeping dogma. Nothing amounts to anything, you said useless. None of this amounts to anything, I’m useless. And I’ll send you a thousand apologies. Hugs and kisses. XO XO. I'll send you a thousand apologies. Hugs and kisses, hugs and kisses. XO , mean a million apologies. XO. Hugs and kisses, Ray. Hugs and fucking kisses” He smiled lightly as the song ended and a new one began, he wasn’t really up to singing the next song, so he just sat back and listened.
He straightened out his dress, yes, his dress. It was pink tartan, only about thigh high, The shorts he wore underneath were houndstooth print, black and white. He wore a white short sleeve shirt under the dress. Little heart buttons kept the shoulder straps in line. His socks, pulled up to knee high, and of course they were pink and white striped and his shoes were pink as well, flats, a nice plaid. He stuck out his tongue and allowed it to adjust his septem piercing as he adjusted his pink hello kitty bandaid on his cheek and then he fiddled with the beeded necklaces around his neck. His hair looked like, a massacre of colours. The back was Magenta, The sides and front blue with a little purple and a smidge of turquiose. His white bandana kept the back spiked up and the barrettes made the front a little more decorative, truth be told, he looked like a giant five year old.
Re: &&LG FUAD;; « Reply #2 on Jan 10, 2008, 12:40am »
As the songs continued to play on her in ipod, she started to move around, showing that she was still alive. Her smile became wider, and her feet started to tap in the air, knocking the high heels off almost instantly. Say Anything was blasting in her ears, and if you were just a random worker walking by, you could hear it clearly. It also didn’t help the blonde started to sing along with it. “Baby girl, I’m a blur. I spoiled, stunted, sickened her.” She muttered as she opened and closed her eyes, looking directly into the stage lights.
They burned a little, but other then that it bothered her not. She had been under them so much, the blindly effect almost never fazed her. Once again her voice was heard; only it was a little bit better then a mumble. “You’re with me all the time; the drugs can have my mind, love. You own the rest, you’ll find, and you’re with me all the time.” But then, her eyes noticed a problem among them. Something felt off, and Stella just couldn’t put her finger on it. Perhaps her ipod was skipping for some reason? No, she could hear every word clearly.
Still, it was if someone or something was watching her. Slowly her finger lingered upon the pause button, and with a small sigh she reluctantly pushed it and sat up. Stella saw no one in the audience, and that is what she had been expecting. Normally random people would just walk in, and sit there for at least an hour or two. She figured that most of them didn’t have jobs, or they were just lusting after the stage, and didn’t really know how to act upon it. When she was younger, when she was different, that is how she used to be. She would sit in old broken down theaters for hours, trying to imagine herself on Broadway, or in a musical. Back then she couldn’t even picture herself cleaning up after the people on stage, but now, she was the stage. “Okay. I think I am ready to go home.” She muttered to herself, standing up and bending down to gather her things. But once she looked up, she dropped them almost instantly. “Oh fuck!” she screamed, jumping out of him skin and holding onto her heart. Her eyes had just laid upon a woman, or man, with hair the color of the damn rainbow, and Band-Aids upon their face.
It was wearing an uglier then sin dress, and Stella could have sworn it was at four year old who had gotten lost in their closet. “You scared the ever living daylights out of me.” She spat at whatever it was, fiercely picking up all of her items that she dropped. “Are you even supposed to be in here anyways? I didn’t think we were doing elementary tours today, so if you wanna see fucking Dora you will just have to come back some other time.” And with that, she folded her arms not even waiting for a reply, and marched down off the stage to get her shoes. She had just been scared back into believing there was a god, so of course she was a little freaked out.
Joined: Dec 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 26 Location: Fredrikstad, Norway Karma: 1
Re: &&LG FUAD;; « Reply #3 on Jan 10, 2008, 7:05pm »
With Every Shot Of Jaeger
Cheshire was taken aback quite a bit by the girls angry response. He blinked lightly. "Excuse You?" Cheshire grumbled "First off I'm here to calm myself down, and certainly you aren't helping things out." Cheshire had a thick accent that was definatly Norwegian. He watched her with his hazel narrowed eyes. He clearly wasn't happy with her and her insults. "Now I see why I was told not to come to America" He growled to himself as he started to storm off.
Clearly the boy wasn't happy in America but that was just him, of course a lot of people from Europe weren't fond of the younger country, but it offered a lot more opportunities then Norway had. Cheshire rolled his eyes as he stuffed his Walkman CD player back into his dress pocket and placed his headphones around his neck.
Cheshire's appearence was quite awkward, apparently even for a theartre that was no longer in use. Instead of actually leaving the place he hid in the back corner in the last row of seats, granted he no doubt was most likely rambling on to himself about how this country was rude and aggrivating as hell.
His mind was buzzing with the words of the freaked out girl, who was no doubt prettier then he could ever be but hey he'd like to act once in a while that he could pull that off, apparently he couldn't from the reaction he got from Stella. That back corner was dark and disabled most of his vision, he could still see the outline of the infuriated Stella and watched her angrily.
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